On May 30th, my husband got a call from the vet that Delilah’s labs came back worse than they were when she was admitted for treatment. The day before, she had stopped eating again and wasn’t getting excited for walks. Her one working kidney was failing and sadly there was no of her improving, so that evening we decided to put her to sleep. Based on the labs, it was not a difficult decision to make, based on the fact that she was my 10-year-old doggo bestie, it was.
Death is always harder on the living, right? For two days I couldn’t sleep, I had no appetite and the motivation to do anything triathlon related was gone. I felt so guilty and sad for my dog. I kept having those ‘what if’ thoughts. What if I had paid more attention to her versus going on that two-hour bike ride? What if we caught her kidney problems earlier? Long talks with my husband helped those thoughts go away for the most part, but they still sneak in every once and awhile. What it comes down to is that dogs, like every other living thing, pass away despite what we as their owners want.
For a couple of days, I seriously considered throwing in the towel on Eagleman. I feel a bit under trained because I missed some key big workouts over the past few weeks with everything that has happened between Delilah and the flooding. Now that we’re just a few days out from race day, I want to race. I think it will help with the healing process. When things feel hard out there on the course I’ll just think of my late best friend and how she loved her long walks. Seriously, despite how hot/cold/rainy it was she always wanted to keep going.
So on Sunday, I’ll be lining up at the start of Eagleman 70.3 with a “keep going” attitude, all for my sweet girl Delilah.